A song for my heart...

I have been nagged by the thought that there is a song I know that puts my feelings into perspective. I just happened to come across Eli's CD 'Things I Prayed for' and I heard the song play on my stereo. It hit me that this is what my mind has been trying to come up with for the past week. I think that God has good reasons for taking Kevin Brown from this world. We probably won't ever know or understand why...even when we get to Heaven ourselves. Somethings are just not explainable. Sometimes it makes us rely on faith.

That word. Faith. It is one of the most misused words, in my opinion. It is also one of the hardest words to truly understand. How can one rely on faith? How can one blindly believe that something was for the ultimate good when it hurts everyone. How can one believe in a creator who speaks to us through a book of letters and stories?

Have I walked off on a tangent? Umm. Well, I think that faith is not just blindly following something or someone. It is a decision that has been made. For me, it was investigating for quite some time the historical events that coincide with the stories in the Bible. It was reading other peoples same quest and the answers they found and how they came to be able to make it concrete truth that these events happened and that not only was Jesus a person, but that he performed miracles that cannot to this day be copied by the smartest of illusionists. That and how the prophesies were written long before Jesus came to Earth and how he fulfilled the prophesies as they were written.

Faith. A word I don't use too often. I have had my own issues with that word. Mostly it has been my own pride getting in the way. I too often push God out of the picture and think that I don't need him. It takes some event to bring me back to Him. I want to be more obedient to God. I have to stop letting my life be consumed by worldly things. I need to get my head into thinking of God and get into his Word more. I need to stop listening to what I call 'my angry music'. I need to love my wife more than I do. I need to be more honest and committed to my friends. I have some great friends and I never talk to them or hang out with my closest friend besides my wife. This friend has bent over backwards to help me over the years and I feel like I just take advantage of that. I feel ashamed that I was not there for him when he was in a time of need for friends to pray over his troubles. I hangs over me every time I'm around him or I think of him. I don't know why I stayed away...I always stay away. From everyone. I let people in only so deep and I then walk away. Like I'm keeping score of how many people I can meet and hold conversations with but not let them know the deep dark secrets of my soul. I started to with my friend. Then we went different paths for a while. Time was not on our side when we would try to get together. It still isn't. I sometimes wonder if I use that as an excuse to keep him at arms length. So I don't have to hurt because of my selfishness. Why am I so...I can't even come up with a word to describe myself!

Well, what started out to be a letter of hope has become a bleeding heart. I'm sorry but this is me and this is what I'm feeling right now.

As for the song, here are the lyrics...

GOD WEEPS TOO
by Eli

This is for the man who never learned to read or write
he worked two jobs instead of going to school
I know it hurt you as a child, please remember all the while
That God weeps too

This is for the widow who now must sleep alone
When the memory of a kiss will have to do
Every night when she lays down you can almost hear the sound
when God weeps too

God weeps too, God weeps too
Though we question Him for all that we go through
still it helps me to believe and my faith it does relieve
Just to think that God weeps too

For every survivor of the wickedness of man
whether a black man or a Jew
some people kill in Jesus name
He is not the one to blame
cause even God weeps too

God weeps too, God weeps too
though we question Him for all that we go through
still it helps me to believe and my faith it does relieve
just to think that God weeps too

Earth Day...a little less green than hoped for!

Well, today is Earth Day. A day to be Green...well, I'm green any day I go to work, my uniform is green! *groan* :D

But honestly, I drive a work van. With a gas-guzzling V-8. I drove all over the place today.

I worked with refrigerants which, as little as "de minimus" is, work their way into the atmosphere.

Man, even my farts probably did something to the Ozone...

So, enough of Ozone-demolition day.

I took 2 out of 3 national-standardized HVAC tests today. Our school got on board a beta-program dedicated to standardizing the curriculum in the HVAC trade schools across the country. These test will allow the schools to get an idea of what they need to improve in and what they are doing fine with. Plus these tests are developed through the ESCO Institute so if the individual student does well on the tests, they will become certified by ESCO in the areas they pass. Kind of a win-win, as I see it! Our department head selected 20 students to take the tests and am very glad to be in the group. We'll see how the test results turn out in a couple weeks.


On a side note, my last post has a rather inaccurate number hanging around. I had mentioned that I was guessing at 400 people at the ceremony. I was off...just a little. There were over 900 people there! And those were just the ones who could make it! There were letters from people who are in Africa doing missions, there were emails from around the country. It seems hard to fathom someone so quiet and gentle could have such a long list of friends...

To see Kevin in action, check out this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr-IYTFqhzQ

Enjoy Kevin performing James Taylor's 'Carolina'. I think that this video is from the last time "A Great Bunch of Guys" performed at the Union in downtown Kalamazoo.

And with that, I wish everyone "Good Night"!

It takes death to celebrate life...eternal Life!

Yesterday was the funeral service for Kevin Brown. Actually, it was a celebration of life! If I had to guess, I would say there were at least 400 people at Southridge Reformed Church in Kalamazoo (Texas Twp.) It lasted a bit over 2 hours.

It all started with a prelude done by a musician named Jerry Doorlag. I've never heard him before but he was great! The title of the piece he improvised on slips my mind but was very familiar.

Next was a praise set. The leader, Brian Drews, is someone I have had the pleasure to have played with many times and he held nothing back then or now. Great selection, and great performance. It really set the mood for what was to come.

Next was a message from pastor Rob Link who is from The River Church. He described how we are the 'church' and not the building we use to praise and worship. I hold the same beliefs and think that he is right on the mark with everything he said. The way he described Kevin and his relationship with Rob could be repeated by everybody who attended this celebration.

The message was followed by a prayer and then two guys who have recorded in Kevin's studio, Brown and Brown Recording, felt led to perform a piece that they recorded and had meaning to this day!

Brothers Tom and Tim and Sister Kathy spoke about their times with Kevin. There were laughs and tears. What a joy these siblings experienced growing up with their older brother!

Following that emotional experience, Julie Cook Brown (Tim's wife) and Jerry Doorlag performed a very emotional song called "Say The Name". That was one of the hardest performances for Julie considering the reason why she was there.

A very moving message from Pastor Mark Vanderson described Kevin. The more people talk about their relationships with Kevin, the more I felt blessed to have had one with him as well. He leaves his mark and you can never forget his smile or his positive attitude.

Next was a photo montage with Brian Drews singing and playing while pictures of Kevin and his family were flashed on a screen showing the history and the love Kevin left behind.

Then Msgr. Michael Hazard really put into perspective about how believers in God, regardless of denomination, are after the same thing...God! And he moved forward with the Lord's Prayer.

The next part really got to me. A home video was played where Kevin, his wife Deb, Julie and Tim plus some others were sitting around in a living room singing "Go Tell It On The Mountain"...Kevin with his guitar and everybody else was singing and just having a great family moment. Kevin really invested in family. It was his source for strength and faith in God. I have to admit, I teared up...

Then the party really started! It began with Brian Drews on keyboards, Brad Scott on bass, Daryl Lane on guitar plus a saxophone, two other guitars, drums, and a few singers. It only grew from there...by the end there was at least 30 people on stage singing, playing and dancing like Kevin would have if he were up there! Everybody were on their feet for the entire set and what a joyous sound coming from this church! I haven't experienced anything like this in many years. My heart was light even though it remembered why this was happening.

Pastor Mark Vanderson read some lyrics that Kevin was working on. It was like Kevin knew that his time was coming. The words were a perfect description of what life should be and how he lived it.

And now, it was time to say goodbye...

...Louisiana style!

Kevin always wanted to be led out New Orleans style. And he was. There was Dixieland band there to lead his casket out of the sanctuary! I cried while I listened to the beautiful, joyous music being played. It was goodbye.

No. Not goodbye. Until we meet again, my friend.

Kevin Brown has gone home...

Tonight, my heart sank. Even though I know Kevin Brown is going to someplace better, I will miss him dearly.

This is what I read:

" Dear Prayer Warriors,

It is with great sadness that we tell you that Kevin has gone to be with Jesus. Too many complications. His body was simply too weak. The caring medical staff did everything they could.

In the coming days, we will let you know about funeral arrangements.

Please remember that Kevin is in a wonderful place and we stand in God's love at this time.

Thank you so much for your support and love.

The Brown Family"

God, take his spirit home and let him rejoice. He has finished his race and has won. He was referred to as a "Marathon Man" regarding his fight to live. I think it is also a good description of how he lived his life.

One down, one to go...

Today I finished my CPR/First Aid class! I will get my certificates in the mail in a couple weeks. I took this course as a class to fulfill my physical education requirements for my associates degree. I have one final left to take. Then I only have roughly a year left. Mind you, I only take 2-3 classes per semester. It's hard enough to do that while working and having a family. But I'm doing this for me. I can take my time with getting the degree and enjoy the classes that I am in. I don't like having to cram a bunch of classes all at once and all I remember out of them is how much stress I was under. This way, I can actually focus on the subjects and really absorb what is being given to me.

-------edit------------

I decided that today was a good day to give my furnace a much needed maintenance. A little background is needed. I live in a townhouse. I rent and am not an owner. So, technically, I am not allowed to do maintenance on my heating/cooling equipment even though it is what I do for a living. But, the townhouse cooperative (will be called the cooperative for the duration of this article) doesn't do maintenance...they change your filter, or they will let you change your own filter if you can convince them that you are capable of doing such a task, *rolls eyes* but they do not do any type of maintenance on the system. I'm sorry, I don't agree with this and want my system to run as good as it can. So, here is my first look at the furnace.

This a photo-essay of my time with my furnace.

First, I had to remove the tape (what the...?!?!) and pull the panel off the back of the evaporator so I can inspect it. Now, normally you could do this from the front where the piping enters the box...but the company that installed this AC system wasn't so thoughtful...

This is what I found when I opened up the evaporator compartment. This junk isn't supposed to be there. There was a penny, a flooring nail, drywall, mortar (???), balled up paper and more 'stuff'. I also found scraps from the new tile floor in our bathroom. Looks like the contractor didn't think he needed to use the trash can that was right behind him outside the door...



And this is the 'stuff' from the evaporator compartment...





And then I decided to check out the heat exchanger. To my surprise, I found that the evaporator coil was being held in place by...NOTHING!!!!! There is supposed to be an 'L' bracket all the way around to hold the coil in place and to take the strain off the refrigeration piping. But, alas, there was none to be found...





I then put the panel back and replaced the screws and taped the seams just like it was before I dove into this project.







Now onto the blower compartment. Ack! what a sight to see. You have to wonder why there is sooooo much dirt when, as you can see, there IS a filter in place. You see, before I moved into this townhouse, the previous tenants used the filters that were provided by the cooperative...you know, the ones that are blue and you can read a newspaper right through the material. They will stop a marble or a hair, but don't do much for dust or dust mites...




So, I took pulled the motor and the squirrel cage wheel from the housing and washed the housing and wheel. After everything was dry, I reassemble the blower assembly and installed it in the blower compartment...after I vacuumed it out, of course! ;)

I checked out the burners and igniter system...all OK there!


After all of that, I threw the power back on and she took off as usual! :D














Oh, yeah. Let's not forget the new filter...

I received some disturbing news today...

I received some disturbing news today...

My wife called me this morning to tell me that a friend of ours, Kevin Brown, had an accident. He had fallen from a platform, at about 9 feet, while painting inside his apartment. He has suffered a fractured skull, bleeding in the brain (hematoma), broken ribs and a collapsed lung. He is in a medically induced coma while letting his body try to heal.

You can read more about his progress at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/kevinbrown

My heart goes out to the family. My thoughts and prayers are theirs.

It's Spring!

Well, we are finally having some spring-like weather in our part of the world. My family and I have taken full advantage of it this weekend!

We got our "garden" prepped by cleaning out the leaves and sticks and we transplanted a bush to the front of our place. We are now ready for putting in plants and veggies!

And here is son #2 in the front yard digging for worms in what will be a flower garden...




And here are the worms he found!

So, besides all of that, I got my truck cleaned out and other miscellaneous jobs done around the house.

Aloha!

Happy birthday to me!

Today is my birthday! Yes, another year has passed. I spent the day hanging out with the family and went to see "Horton Hears a Who". I laughed a lot during the movie. My kids loved it as well!

Spent the evening hanging with neighbors across the courtyard. Had a beer and tried to get their Lexmark printer to cooperate with Ubuntu (Linux). Not much success as of yet, but got a bit further than before!

Well, I'm spending the rest of the night with my love. Kids are in bed and we're enjoying the peace!

Till next time...

Hola!

Welcome!

This is my first entry. So a bit about me.

I'm a husband and a father.

I am God-fearing.

I believe in our Country.

I believe in our Constitution.

I am pro life.

I am pro gun.

I believe that God should be put back into school.

I believe that law-abiding citizens should have the right to defend themselves anywhere at anytime.

I believe that our government should punish any company that "outsources" overseas.

I believe that our borders need to be tightened.

I believe what happened on 9/11 was real and not a government plot.

I have many more thoughts and will expand as time permits.

If you have thoughts or opinions, please, at any time, ask away. I'm not here to stomp on anyone. I love discussion and I don't like flaming or being flamed.

With that, I'll say g'nite.

I